Sometimes, to grow means to let go of certain situations and people in your life.
And this is what I’ve been doing for the past several weeks already. I’m sorry if I’m starting off my get-back with a bit of a negative tone, but I figured that I needed a way to at least get this out of my system.
Lately I noticed that I’ve been doing a lot of introspection in my life. Seeing that I was learning more about my personal path, I realized how much new things there is to learn: meditation, values, self-love, manifestation. Things that in my current state and culture is not “the trend”. Now I totally get it. I’ve been used to learning and discovering which, frankly, is not a popular thing to do. A lot of my peers nowadays are more interested to sports and showbiz, maybe the latest gossip or celebrity scandal, anything that spikes the adrenaline and is “entertaining”. I, on the other hand, much prefer watching the latest findings in the deep ocean, or maybe a recent discovery in archaeology. The “nerdy” stuff, if you can tell.
But ever since I started learning how to ground and center, how to filter out the things in my life that no longer served my higher purpose, I never really anticipated that I would be removing people in my life too:
Former classmates in high school and college, former office colleagues, loved ones and relatives.
I’m not saying that I’ve cut them completely in my life, it’s just that I no longer resonated with them the same way I used to, and seeing how they conduct their everyday lives, I realized how much of my personal growth stagnates whenever I’m with them…
I’m no longer interested whenever they go out someplace to “just chill” because I prefer staying at home to recharge my personal reserves.
I’ve learned to say “no” whenever they want me to do something I personally do not want to do because I see no purpose of doing it in the first place.
I’ve let go of personal relationships and connections that I deemed to be one-sided, where I’m usually the one to offer support without it being reciprocated.
I’ve stopped communicating to people who, after listening to my Intuition is only after me for personal gain.
I’ve learned to respect my own personal space and take self-care more seriously. I’ve learned to respect my own sense of privacy by controlling how I share and present myself in social media.
To most people, especially to those who are into Spirituality and Personal Development, my actions are truly noble and outstanding, perhaps getting recognition for doing such a feat only few can take.
I get it, yes. But frankly, it’s hard.
It’s hard to keep your emotions in check especially when all you wanted to do is to let out fits of anger and disappointment for the moments of stupidity and ignorance.
It’s hard to push your willpower into prioritizing yourself first over other people, simply because you understand that people also need to discover how to grow on their own.
It’s hard to completely cut-off people away from you because you do not want their energies to intermingle with yours, and how much you wanted to be with them, but cannot because you know that you distancing yourself is for their own good.
It’s hard to control yourself from posting all of your life in social media, telling and screaming to the world how much you wanted the attention for once.
It’s all hard.
And yet, I persist. I press on.
I ask God, my Guides and Ancestors, for strength that I continue treading my path, because it is something I ALONE can tread.
I ask Mother Ocean that, like the cascading waves, I may learn to ebb and flow whatever situation I am everyday.
I ask Myself to keep pressing on, knowing that what I’m doing is definitely worth it.
Because it is.
It really is.